Joyful Pain

Another night and here I am
Sitting in the dark again
Another day goes by
and I'm still asking why,
Why do I feel
the same constant pain?
Is it my mind, thoughts
or my heart
Is it an illusion, delusion
or confusion
I'm not certain
Though certain of
the reason and cause
The rose falls apart
and dies without rain
You see the pain I feel is joyful
yet leaves a burning sensation
deep within
Not a mistake, a regrettable fun
or unforgiven sin
Not a hidden secret
of a fruitless past abandoned
and left behind like snake's skin
Not lost hopes, or shattered
dreams never came to be
Not lost time or efforts
of running for the win
It's the pain of an aching lover
Who suffers every hour,
yet keeps it in!